The other day a lady was telling me how the wedding plans with her partner was called off. They have gone through introduction process, a situation where parents from both families would come together for the first time to meet and get to know each other, officially.
Two months after holding the introduction, the man started misbehaving when they were supposed to be shopping for stuff they would need for the wedding.
More unfortunately, the people in group for bridal train had bought their cloth and even sewn it.
After telling me what this, I told her the parents of the man were behind the matter. I advised her to let go, that the family aren’t in line with their plans of getting married.
When I showed her what she would meet if she insisted or persuaded the man to go against his parents wishes, she agreed with me that it didn’t worth it.
And this last weekend she came visiting and told me I was right all along. She added that the man’s parents sees her as a threat in the family, for whatever reason that’s not known to nobody.
Let’s quickly see some of the things that could lead to a situation like this.
1. Family Decision
A man may turn back and eat his words if both families aren’t in tune with your plans to get married. In Africa, if a man is not receiving the blessing of both his family and yours, he might not go ahead with the wedding.
Don’t get it twisted. He is not a coward, it’s just that he might be preventing against future occurrence. If your marriage is not blessed by either of the family, you must be very strongly in love to go ahead with such wedding plans and be ready to face future consequences.
Forget the fact that he is professing so much love for you now, if his parents didn’t agree he might cancel the wedding, though your parents might have approved of it.
But to be sincere, the men we have around these days aren’t so much blessed with such grace to dare their parents for marriage. It’s the bitter truth. Men of these days are ready to dare whatever circumstances to make money to impress than to face any serious challenge from parents consent over marriage. How many of these men you see really wanna marry at all?
2. If you are not acting maturely enough
We all know age isn’t maturity. The fact that you are of age doesn’t mean you will be acting maturely. For your information, acting like someone who is truly ripe for a marriage can aid his decision. So you don’t want to act otherwise.
He doesn’t expect you to be childish in either your demand, relationships or thoughts at this stage. If you are not being realistic with what you would be asking him to buy at this stage, knowing fully well that you are planning to get married, it might give him a sign you aren’t planning along. This might ruin his plan for the two of you.
The kind of friends you move with at this period must be of those who are going somewhere in life and not just the type that don’t regard marriage. If he noticed otherwise, this may negatively affect his decision.
There are no better time to have positive thoughts than this time. You don’t want to give him any reason to think he is making any mistake choosing you. Your thoughts have to be positive and encouraging towards him. Past experiences have shown that men are mostly in dilemma when they are planning towards the big day of wedding. You are supposed to be the most closest and you must be of great help for him to have smooth plan free of itches towards the wedding.
3. If you are not challenging his life enough
Any man who can’t win your heart doesn’t deserve you. That’s why nobody wants to go for a cheap lady. He must really feel it that he wins your heart. Tell me, can there be winning without challenge or contest? No!
So, if he has has no reason to recount how he had to be the best to have you because you aren’t that cheap to have he might not appreciate you enough. Men love adventure, men love challenges. The harder the battle the sweeter the victory, as they say.
Your life, your background, your style, your thoughts, your way must challenge him. If not he won’t be so much impressed.
Academically, your family background, your religious belief, your philosophy of life all these really count. It must be challenging to him so much that he would be scared to leave you.
4. Lack of inner peace
No man wants a trouble maker in his life. Not even any woman can put up with a problematic man. If your life is surrounded by messy drama, no man will stay there. If you aren’t allowing inner peace to radiate, who wants to come near a hell?
You can’t have love if you are not peaceful. You cant give what you don’t have, sister. Being peaceful says a lot about you; you can’t be happy if you don’t have peace. He must have been sensing something is not right about you and the earlier he discovers the earlier he’d cancel whatever he has for you.
5. If he senses ulterior motives
What you have for each other must be nothing but love. If he senses you have any other plans, he won’t go ahead with whatever plans you have both put together.
So many things happen these days. Some ladies see men as nothing but their meal tickets. If you are in that kind of group of ladies that have nothing to bring to the table but only want to use the man as a means to an end, it may backfire. This is called ulterior motive and if he gets to know, he’d call off whatever plans between you both.
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