Marriage, like someone said, is an Institute you don’t graduate from.
I agree totally with whoever made this postulation. I have never seen anyone who prays to finish the race of marriage alive —you will only hear until death do us part. So, it’s true after all, nobody wishes to receive any other certificate from wedding apart from the one at the beginning of the journey.
Marriage, to me, is hard work. Don’t let my opinion shock you please. If you are a married man or woman, kindly look inward and see for yourself if marriage is what you get it into and go to sleep.
Getting married can be likened to a newly employed staff that’s so very happy for the new employment. He or she will be so eager to tell people, to thank God, he possibly will throw a little party for the family and friends. Honestly it’s a thing of joy to be picked out of hundreds of thousands of people roaming around the street, looking for opportunities.
But after the celebration for family and friends for being newly engaged, what next? Work, of course. After getting employed you get down to real work. This is marriage explained in simple language.
Marriage is not only hard work, marriage is complex. What works for ‘A: in marriage may not work for ‘B’. Marriage isn’t one size fits all. Marriage counsellors always sing this to their clients hearing.
You don’t introduce what you see working in another family’s marriage into your own blindly. You check it, find out about it and talk to your confidant (spouse) or counsellors about it first.
However, 5 things I mention below here, in no particular order, should be worked towards in every marriage within the period of 5 years, if the marriage is not planned to head for a rock.
1. Have a stable financial income
I’m not going to mention love in any of the 5 points here. Love is expected to be the foundation, so we are just going to build on it in marriage.
So the first thing I chose to talk about is finance. Like I said, these must haves are in no particular order, whichever that come first in a marriage is good. What matters is within the period of 5 years into marriage it must be present because of its viral role in marriage.
You may start your marriage jobless or with an under paid job, it’s still not bad. But between the first year of your marriage and the fifth, if it’s still the same story, you may have a serious problem in your marriage. Don’t argue it, please. That’s the reality of life.
As meaningless or as irrelevant as you may think having stable financial income in marriage is, I want you to know that it breaks home and it architects infidelity in marriage.
2. Have a child
If we say this point suits number two in a marriage, I don’t think it’s a bad idea. But we’ve said the 5 points here aren’t in no particular order, so let’s stick to that rule till the end.
Bearing children is the blessing of marriage. This is one notion believes by all, regardless of tribes or culture. Even the word acknowledges children so well in marriage. So when next you see couple getting worried for not having children with the first and second year of marriage, don’t blame them.
In the Western world, having children in marriage isn’t so much important to them but it’s also on the agreement between a particular couple. It’s not the general view of the Western world not to have kids.
Having no child, within the first and the fifth year of marriage is a great frustration that often times leads to divorce, unfaithfulness, even hatred. For a smooth running and love filled home, it is the best for children to come fast or within this period.
3. Have the right network
Some will say connection is everything. But I will say it’s network. For any couple that must move at a very good place to achieve well and go places, they need good network.
Everybody wants to have a remarkable breakthrough in their marriages. Every couple wants great things happening in their marriage. Every couple wants to be seen up there, but how can these happen without being well connected?
What we are saying is you need a good network as family, so your journey and many of your family desires can be achieved without so much sweat.
You can get network in your religious group, among friends that matter, at work or in the family of your spouse. Network is a must, or else you are heading nowhere serious in your marriage.
4. Start a project together
It’s very sweet and beautiful when couples are doing things together. It’s like having a common goal or a common dream. Can you see what am saying?
In fact, starting a project together in a marriage is one of the ways to spark up marriage fireworks, if it seems dying. You can take this to the bank.
When husband and wife agree to start a particular business together and agree to pull their resources together to achieve it wonderful and a sign of oneness.
Couples should, as a matter of fact, ensure they have a joint project within the first to the fifth year of their being together. It increases love and trust. It allows your spouses to know each other more and also for them to show their prowess.
Couples that have decided to embark on building project within this period can do it by allowing one of them to feed and pick other home management bills while the other fund the building project. It’s such a good experience every couple must have in their first phase (5 years) in marriage.
5. Be convinced you are in a right union
Before your marriage is 5, you must have been convinced that you are in a right union. Anything short of this can be disastrous.
Within the first year of your marriage and the fifth year, you would have gone through thick and thing. You must have experienced ups and downs. Marriage challenges and bashes are supposed to build you up for good and not to put you down permanently.
But within 5 years whatever your encounter in your marriage might have been, it’s supposed to help you to form your opinion about your marriage and your spouse.
If you are still in doubt to whether you are in a right or wrong union with your partner in the fifth year of your marriage, it’s a strong sign that you may not last together with your spouse.
These are 5 things to watch out for before you celebrate 5th anniversary in marriage.
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